On fanfiction

[moonwise]

WTFH is it with dueling tongues? Yeah, you see this metaphor all over, but it just made me facepalm so hard I hurt my nose.

Comments

[pantswarrior]

And suddenly I'm envisioning a makeout session with a soundtrack of "Dueling Banjos".

*twangtwangtwang*

[scathachdhu.livejournal.com]

I thought the same thing. XDD Glad it's not just me.

[arafel.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. XD Thanks for the image.

[maeveth.livejournal.com]

That's fantastic.

[jaina.livejournal.com]

Also tongues twisting together. Ow.

[arafel.livejournal.com]

I don't know about Our Humping Heroes, but too much in the way of tongue gymnastics tends to promote the gag reflex and/or "you suck at kissing."

[arafel.livejournal.com]

PLEASE YES I NEED TO BREATHE OK.

[lumen.livejournal.com]

*insert inappropriate mental image* :S

[arafel.livejournal.com]

It really makes you cringe, doesn't it?

[lumen.livejournal.com]

Good god, and here I thought it was just my dirty imagination.

That's even worse than the whole "they were like two humming birds who also had never met" analogy. :D

[arafel.livejournal.com]

they were like two humming birds who also had never met

??????????

Where did you find that?

[lumen.livejournal.com]

John and Mary had never met. They were like two humming birds who had also never met.

http://www.z9design.com/humor/similes.html
0
Among other places. :D I highly doubt they're real, but the one with the humming birds got a giggle out of me. :D

[arafel.livejournal.com]

I would bet that those are all apocryphal, but they're still hilarious.

[lady-ganesh.livejournal.com]

That's beautiful.

[maeveth.livejournal.com]

"En garde! I shall slay thee with my tongue-ly might! Have at thee!"

[arafel.livejournal.com]

"The Black Knight always triumphs!"

[maeveth.livejournal.com]

That gives a WHOLE new meaning to the "I'll bite your legs off!" line.

[arafel.livejournal.com]

...Ouch. XD

[geckophobe.livejournal.com]

Ugh. I have a very specific image of that action, and it is decidedly not sexy. It's like they're trying desperately to impress you with how in shape their tongue muscles are, and yet trying to fight you off at the same time.

On the other hand, I've just considered the possibility that you were reading about a paraplegic Fight Club, and not porn.

[arafel.livejournal.com]

Nope, it was a (fruitless) search for some good pr0n. Rats.

[arafel.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Definitely some imagery that was best left on the cutting room floor, that.

[arafel.livejournal.com]

We are strong, no one can tell us we're wrong!

[rydain]

That reminds me - I found quite possibly the worst peener terminology ever in a fic not written as a joke, once again thanks to Dynasty Warriors fandom.

Juicy fruit.

If you're chewing it, you're probably doing something wrong.

[arafel.livejournal.com]

Oh, if only.

Seriously, though, juicy fruit = peen0r? I dun get it.

[rydain]

I guess because it's banana-shaped?

Beats me. The original story got baleeted, but there's more by the same person. Screaming hills! Throbbing blades! Liquefied buttocks!

(Click me if you dare. Definitely not safe for lunch.)

[skurtchasor.livejournal.com]

I'm going to blame that sexually-tilted gum jingle from the 80's. Everybody sing along!

"blah blah blah blah blah, grab a stick of Juicy Fruit, the taste is gonna move you! Take a sniff! Pull it out! The taste is gonna move you when you pop it in your mouth!"

[rydain]

Damn you, Addams! You sunk my battleship! *wipes Pepsi spray off the screen*

[arafel.livejournal.com]

*LAUGHS*

I had forgotten all about that jingle. That must be it. XD

(love the icon.)

[arafel.livejournal.com]

Oh.

My.

God.

Milk?

There's just... asses and hands all over the place. WHAT.