(no subject)
Jan. 14th, 2002 01:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Well, bloody frigging hell.
I am such a goddamn sucker. The Big Man, who can't hire postdocs fast enough, wanted One Lucky Person to teach a half-TA slot this semester, and so here's Arafel like a deer caught in the headlights: "Would you teach this semester?" From what I can gather, Elena the Russian Postdoc Who Doesn't Speak English Worth a Damn costs more than the Big Man expected and has upset the delicate balance of the budget. I so wish he hadn't decided to hire her. She isn't even here yet, for crying out loud.
What am I doing, a fucking fifth-year, teaching again? Second semester orgo lab was such a complete hassle; messy experiments that require too much attention in too short a time. I wasn't even a good teacher. I do not have enough patience to explain for the nth time how to recrystallize, yes you have to turn on the vacuum for the rotovap to work, no you can't stopper your flask with the thermometer adapter.
And my friend Jesse isn't even around any more to make it tolerable. Half the reason I made it through three semesters of TA work was that he was around for me to chat with during interminable experiments.
*groan* Silverfish, how did you stand it? How did you not kill your advisor?
And the grading sessions... and TA meetings... *hangs head* Just what I needed.
It's my own damn fault. Someday I will learn to say "NO." But as I remarked to one of our postdocs, "If you don't make the Big Man happy, he might not be interested in making you happy later."
I am such a goddamn sucker. The Big Man, who can't hire postdocs fast enough, wanted One Lucky Person to teach a half-TA slot this semester, and so here's Arafel like a deer caught in the headlights: "Would you teach this semester?" From what I can gather, Elena the Russian Postdoc Who Doesn't Speak English Worth a Damn costs more than the Big Man expected and has upset the delicate balance of the budget. I so wish he hadn't decided to hire her. She isn't even here yet, for crying out loud.
What am I doing, a fucking fifth-year, teaching again? Second semester orgo lab was such a complete hassle; messy experiments that require too much attention in too short a time. I wasn't even a good teacher. I do not have enough patience to explain for the nth time how to recrystallize, yes you have to turn on the vacuum for the rotovap to work, no you can't stopper your flask with the thermometer adapter.
And my friend Jesse isn't even around any more to make it tolerable. Half the reason I made it through three semesters of TA work was that he was around for me to chat with during interminable experiments.
*groan* Silverfish, how did you stand it? How did you not kill your advisor?
And the grading sessions... and TA meetings... *hangs head* Just what I needed.
It's my own damn fault. Someday I will learn to say "NO." But as I remarked to one of our postdocs, "If you don't make the Big Man happy, he might not be interested in making you happy later."
no subject
Date: 2002-01-14 10:39 am (UTC)Seriously, I don't know how good of a teacher I'd make either--same problem, lack of patience.
no subject
Date: 2002-01-14 12:11 pm (UTC)I already know that I didn't make a good teacher. *sigh* Perhaps I should just say "screw it" and rule with an iron fist, never mind all the "she's intimidating!" comments I used to get, anonymously.
Re:
Date: 2002-01-14 12:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-01-14 10:46 am (UTC)>"If you don't make the Big Man happy, he might not be interested
>in making you happy later."
That's the problem... at least when you feel like you have to say yes to keep the Big Man happy.
Still, I think he should prioritize that his 5th year students need time for work and try to persuade one of the younger students to take over the teaching. One could always say they need teaching practice and you've done your part to earn it.
You can't ask any of the other students if they're available for teaching (of course, no one wants to take it voluntarily unless they need money) and suggest this person for the Big Man to take your place ?
It's hard to say no even if you don't want to do what he suggests in this situation and it's even harder to go back on a yes.
no subject
Date: 2002-01-14 12:12 pm (UTC)Catch-22, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Re:
Date: 2002-01-14 12:21 pm (UTC)Hmm... if he's not as experienced as you--- maybe he needs some more experience by teaching the course :) , or maybe you could split the teaching job ?
no subject
Date: 2002-01-14 12:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-01-14 12:13 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-01-14 12:20 pm (UTC)I Know, I'm Not Very Helpful...
Date: 2002-01-15 10:00 am (UTC)complete suckage
Date: 2002-01-19 02:16 pm (UTC)I complained bitterly. Lots and lots of venting to friends. I absolutely bitched my head off to a select few friends (and my lj), and then let the situation speak for itself in all other cases. Faculty in our department would come up to me and say, "aren't you almost done? I haven't seen a notice for your defense yet." I would respond that I had planned on finishing, but hadn't planned on teaching, so things were taking a lot longer than I had anticipated. This usually got me a lot of sympathy, and so people scowled at my advisor for me in most cases, musing at how unorganized she was (bad budgeting was also the reason that I had to teach in my sixth year).
I tried to remain completely composed in front of my advisor. I revealed my displeasure to her only occasionally, and with subtlety. I knew she would never feel any guilt about it, and if I complained to her, she'd think, "oh, she just doesn't want to work hard." So I tried to burn her in other ways... as often as I could, I used teaching as an excuse to not to contribute to lab in ways that I ordinarily would. I refused to train any new people, I stopped taking the initiative in lab organizational things, I stopped helping my labmates with their projects, and stopped doing anything extra that I did before just to be a nice person and good lab citizen. I remained passive, throwing in "sorry, I need to prepare for teaching tomorrow" occasionally for good measure. In most cases it was the truth, because teaching is a complete time suck, but drawing attention to it once in a while made me feel better.
I completely understand how much this sucks, Arafel...if you like to vent (as I obviously do), then vent away. It helped me survive the whole ordeal. At some point, I also felt that if I had to teach, I'd go ahead and make the best of it. Having nothing long term invested in the course, I tried not to let things get too stressful, I tried to make the class fun and laid back. The students had a good time, and I did, too, I must admit (even if it meant I didn't get any research done that semester).
Also, I agree if your boss perceives your doing this a favor to the lab, it may score you big points later. My advisor already mentions to others now how I was asked to teach my last year and didn't complain about it. Ha! Little does she know... :)
Anyway, hang in there... On the bright side it's just a half-slot, right? :P What will you have to teach (is it second semester orgo again)?