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[personal profile] moonwise
....Okay, that was weird. Next!

What exactly were the writers smoking again?

Husband is a happy happy boy tonight because Gran Turismo 4 just came out, and holy shit the graphics are mind-blowing. He's Mr. Car Nut, so this has game has been hotly anticipated in the Arafel Household. He's been gushing all night, calling out "Look! There's a *insert car name*! Oh wow, you can get *insert another car name*!" Which of course is about as productive as me calling out "Yay, I got a new Limit Break!"

Anyway.

The Onion's AV Club posted a review for the game I thought was particularly dumb. To quote:

The expansive car list is tops, but driving them is a serious challenge bordering on excessive realism. Beginners will have a hard time successfully navigating around the track; just one minor slipup, and the race could be over. Too often, you'll be relegated to sightseeing. There's also no story to speak of. The motivation to continue playing feeds solely on your desire to win races and unlock new cars. If you're getting killed time and again, that desire is rapidly doused.

HELLO! Story? STORY???? This is a game about going around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around until you are so bored with watching that you feel the need to trim your toenails. The reason to play GT4 is because you enjoy things like adjusting camber and setting downforce and all that rot, and my husband loves it. If there was some kind of RPG-type story associated with the game, it would be utterly pointless. What kind of "story" do you want?

"The Great Driving Ace stood outside his garage and gazed lovingly at his Silverstone grey Honda S2000. It had been waxed and polished, and he even changed the oil. The Great Driving Ace had just bought alloy wheels for his pet, but he did not purchase a wing, because wings are ricey. It was a fine day for a race.

He selected a track and started in sixth. Through a series of brilliant blocking maneuvers and passing on the inside, he moved all the way to first! He apexed all his corners just right. At the end of five laps, he won the race! The crowd went crazy, and he won some credits for new tires. The end."

So, Onion reviewer, yes the game is for car geeks, not GTA fanboys. Get over it, please.

Date: 2005-02-23 08:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tiggymalvern.livejournal.com
My SO has an understandably large nark about people reviewing games when they don't like that whole genre of game. It would be like me reviewing a romance novel. It may be a great example of a romance novel, but I know before I start that I'm going to hate it, so how can anyone get anything constructive out of my review of it? Don't have people who don't like FPS review FPS. Don't have people who don't like racing games review racing games. It's a waste of space for everyone. It's most likely not the reviewers fault; somebody probably ditched that task on him, and that somebody is an idiot.

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