The fanboy rant

[moonwise]

For jaina, who requested "Poorly socialized fanboys at cons."



You know you've seen them, if you've ever been to a con.

Sloppily dressed, sweaty, usually somewhat portly fanboys who stand in public places with their arms outstretched begging for hugs. They might be wearing a sign that reads something like "Glomp me plz" or "Will trade hugs for Pocky."

Thanks, but I'll keep my Pocky.

Invasion of a strange person's personal space is a touchy proposition, especially at cons. Anime fans as a group tend to be a loving bunch, with glomping and hugging going on all over the place. But, even a seasoned anime fan might admit that walking up to someone s/he doesn't know and asking for a hug is a rude imposition at best and offensive at worst. It's blackmail of a low sort - the random person who refuses probably has some measure of pity for the loathsome wretch pandering for embraces, and also risks being asked "Whyyyyy?" if she refuses.

And if she does accept, what a treat! Usually these fellows smell like they've been living out of the car and haven't bathed in days, which probably isn't too far off from the truth. So there you are, in your nice costume, being moistly squished by a fanboy who's living out his dreams of canoodling with Ulala by applying equal parts guilt and pity.

I'm lucky, in a way. One flash of the ring on my left hand, and the fanboys usually back off. One persistent fellow at Otakon asked me if I'd hug his friend, and I sweetly said no, I was married, and then he had to get into why that was a problem. It's a problem because I don't want to hug you, fucker, and I'm trying to be nice about it.

The fanboys reached epic proportions at Otakon 2004. There were fanboys waiting outside video rooms and at the bottom of escalators. It's become a "thing" to do at cons, which excuses nothing. Ohayocon 2005 put the kibosh on panhandling for hugs, bless their hearts, which means I'm not the only one with this rant. However, even Ohayocon was not immune to the smell, and jaina, fadingembers, and I had to leave the Deviant Anime hangout session on Saturday night because the body odor was so overpowering.

So, here it is, fanboys. You've got every right to go to a con. You have no right to ask for a hug. You might improve your chances of getting hug without begging if you bathe and work on not looking so pathetic. The "sad slob" act only works well for small cute creatures like kittens and puppies. It does not work for you. The people who are indeed hugging you are either overwhelmingly touchy-feely or are too nice for their own good. Get over it, get over yourselves, and get a life.

Comments

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Jim's suggested "fashion police - warning" stickers - just slap them on as you go past....

[ladyofthesea.livejournal.com]

*applauds* Well said. I haven't been to a con since Katsucon 2001, so I haven't been approached by the above-mentioned sad, pathetic fanboys. It'd be fun if a guy tried to ask me for a hug when Pas was around, cause he'd probably hit him with a baseball bat. Stupid fanboys, go away- no one cares about you.

[tiggymalvern.livejournal.com]

Not something I came across at all at Sakura-Con last year. I wonder if the organisers had banned something I didn't even know about, or if west coast fanboys just aren't so desperate! And, of course, Yaoi-con's very safe from the fanboys :-)

[pantswarrior]

I didn't have that problem much at Otakon 04... but then, I was crossdressing the entire time, at some points including facial hair. I think the majority of the times I got asked for hugs, it was by fangirls when I was dressed as Tsuzuki, because... well, Tsuzuki has fangirls and he's a huggy sort of character (which meant I obliged ;)).

[notowned.livejournal.com]

So are these guys just trying to get a girlfriend, trying to get their jollies, or do they actually think they are hugging the character you're dressed as? It sounds like an extremely unedifying spectacle, whichever way you look at it. Reason #1023 why I will *not* ever be going to an anime convention.

[wpl510.livejournal.com]

...Are you serious? They just walk up and expect hugs? I never imagined that sort of thing would be randomly accepted anywhere, but I understand Tasers are coming down in price... a few loud shrieks of agony should serve as an example to keep the rest away.

[grandlarseny.livejournal.com]

I was thinking I'd carry around my own sign for all those "Hugs For Pocky" posters. Something along the lines of "Castration for Harrassment". ::grin::

[caoin.livejournal.com]

Ugh. Forced intimacy...how gross.

[little-licks.livejournal.com]

Just showed this to Valerie, who totally commiserates. She's been on the con scene for years, as well, and has had her share of tragic fanboy experiences.

[fantazyjinx.livejournal.com]

otakon 2004 was REALLY bad with the fanboys! I was doing shiva from ff X and some of them went WAYYY out of line and like tried to "pose me" with their guy pals -_- aahahah NO.
I can see where you're comin from! Good thing you've got that ring:)

[jaina.livejournal.com]

You know, I never noticed just how bad it was until you commented on it last year at Otakon. And then I couldn't STOP noticing because they were EVERYWHERE. Now, I am a huggy person, but I don't like hugging tons of random people. It's sad that some people seem to need to, but their sadness is not my problem and you stated why perfectly.