moonwise: (lala star)
[personal profile] moonwise
Sssso. Last night, while my husband slept off his cold on the couch, I spent a large amout of time in the attic choosing what to keep and what to put in the Give-Away Bag.



There are a number of big blue containers in the attic that I purchased and filled with my stuff when I got married. Mostly books, but there's also the Beanie Baby collection, stuffed animals, piles of VHS tapes, rolls of cross-stitching fabric, comic books... things I'm not using, but I don't want to get rid of.

Here's the problem.

In my heart, I know it's time to get rid of some things. Like... the Beanie Babies. There are a couple fairly "valuable" ones stuffed in there, and I could probably get a couple hundred dollars for them, but then... I wouldn't have them any more. This is the pack rat's problem. I might not have opened the box in four years, might never look at whatever-it-is again, but parting with it means it's no longer mine and what if I regret it later?

What's worse is letting go of something someone gave me, even if I didn't like it then and don't like it now. For example: Kirill (my paramour at Princeton who was going to leave his wife of seven years and marry me, only problem was that I 1. had a longtime boyfriend and 2. wasn't the least bit interested) gave me a stuffed kitty for my birthday. The kitty is very cute, grey and soft and floppy. I never wanted any presents from him, but there was the conflict of "Oh, cute kitty toy!" vs. "Kirill gave it to me and I don't want anything to do with him ever again."

It went into work today, along with a couple other toys, and I saw someone carrying the stuffed kitty down the hallway. Even though I put it out in the hopes that some child would enjoy it - even though I never wanted the cat in the first place - I still almost ran after the guy and to ask for it back. Because, once he took it, it wouldn't be mine any more. And I like having things.

Aside from Stuffed Animal Angst, there are boxes of knickknacks up in the attic that adorned my walls when I was single. It's sad to look into them, because they ended up having no place in my current apartment, and it reminds me of when it wasn't a matter of how we wanted things to look, just how I wanted things to look. It's like I packed up a piece of my personality and put it away, because whether you like it or not, time passes and you'll grow up. I'm not going to hold a dinner party and have everyone admire my action figures and Star Wars posters.

That's the way it should be, I suppose. There gets to a point where one is too old to behave in a certain way and not look stupid. You might have your action figure collection in a nice case in the basement, your anime DVDs neatly lined up in a cabinet, but they shouldn't be the primary focus of your life any more.

Brought some anime up into the attic once I'd unloaded other things. The "Should I Sell" question is looming for Excel Saga and a couple other Vol. 1's that didn't catch on w/me, like Get Backers. Kind of humorous, since I went to the GameStop a couple weeks ago and traded in a bunch of stuff (and I STILL can't get rid of Darkside Blues!)

On to happier things. I did make TWO major Treasure Finds.

1. the jewelry box I thought I'd lost with my silver choker, rosebud earrings, and dragonfly set
2. Husband's missing car key and booper fob

So that was good. I also found husband's polymer samples, and he was thrilled. Onward.

Date: 2004-12-02 11:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arafel.livejournal.com
Thanks. :) I think you know as well as anyone else that I'm not quite all grown up yet.

As for the plush - my point was that I didn't treasure the kitty toy. It was more that I felt sorry for it (thank god I didn't see Toy Story as a kid) that it was so cute and was given to me by someone I very much wanted to forget about. It wasn't the kitty's fault.

..yeah, that's silly. ^_^;

Date: 2004-12-02 09:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaina.livejournal.com
If you're silly, I'm silly too. I had the same thing happen to me with the mini teddy bear that Dumb Marc gave me for Valentine's last year. It was soft and cuddly but I didn't want to think of him, so I let Mom have it for a prize in class. It's best to just hand it over quickly, kinda like ripping a band aid off, and then doing something distracting.

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