(no subject)

[moonwise]

Recreat, recreat xangoran, temr e xangoranan. Nazr e fango xangoranan. Inai dum. Ageai dum.

"Remember me. Remember me in anger, fear me in bitter anger. Heat craze my teeth in bitterest anger. The signal glance drops. The Game is over."

Nonsense, that is. Not a true language at all, but a made-up language called Yri from a book written by Joanne Greenberg.

Still, it has been a mantra for me, a shield against the bitterness I've felt here in graduate school, and in other places. I thought of it again yesterday, while I was crying my eyes out in front of my hood - again.

You see, there is an informal poster session next month here at Princeton, and I wanted to participate. Unlike most fourth-year graduate students, there has been no offer to me of publishing, of going to meetings, or anything that indicates that my chemistry work is worth showing off to others. So, I asked my advisor, timidly, if I could present some portion of my work.

I've got very much of an inferiority complex when it comes to my work - I feel often that it's worth little, and that I haven't been able to accomplish much since I got here four years ago. My advisor reminds me frequently of how far I have to go, and he does a good job of brushing my ideas off or making me feel stupid about them. Every time I present something, it's like "well, how could you be so naive as to think that?" Pats on the back are rare, because his standards are so high.

(will have to complete this later. I have to run...)

Comments

[fireceremony.livejournal.com]

Wow, your bossman is doing one hell of a good job to discourage you.

That's what informal on site poster sessions are for, for the students to show some of their work, get feedback. Sure, you stick out your neck a little in showing student work, but that's the way for everyone.

After all, it's your education not his. I think he should give you some slack and let you post something at the session. I bet there are lots of other ppl posting stuff much more inferior to yours but having bossmen who aren't as concerned about it.

Aren't there any post docs or other 4 or 5 year students who you could talk with about the poster session ? There must be other ppl who want to make a poster too ? Why not merge some ppl's work in one poster ?

[hidetomatsumoto.livejournal.com]

Well, don't necessarily give your advisor too much credit. Sometimes people don't know a good idea or good work if it bit them in the rear.

Are his standards really that high? Or is just someone that doesn't know what's really going on, or is in fact a not good judge of work himself?

My point is, even if he doesn't agree with your ideas, he should--should--at least let you present your work, and let other decide for themselves what they think.

And who decides what projects you work on? Is it him? Or does he assign tasks for you? If so, then perhaps that is a bad commentary on himself, and he should be criticizing himself instead.

Sorry if my comments don't seem in line, I'm speculating a bit hear.

Nevertheless, I hope it all works out.

[arafel.livejournal.com]

Fire Ceremony... I AM a fourth year, soon to be fifth year... *sigh* so when you are the senior student, you have no excuse.

Thanks, both, for the words of support.