The fanboy rant

[moonwise]

For jaina, who requested "Poorly socialized fanboys at cons."



You know you've seen them, if you've ever been to a con.

Sloppily dressed, sweaty, usually somewhat portly fanboys who stand in public places with their arms outstretched begging for hugs. They might be wearing a sign that reads something like "Glomp me plz" or "Will trade hugs for Pocky."

Thanks, but I'll keep my Pocky.

Invasion of a strange person's personal space is a touchy proposition, especially at cons. Anime fans as a group tend to be a loving bunch, with glomping and hugging going on all over the place. But, even a seasoned anime fan might admit that walking up to someone s/he doesn't know and asking for a hug is a rude imposition at best and offensive at worst. It's blackmail of a low sort - the random person who refuses probably has some measure of pity for the loathsome wretch pandering for embraces, and also risks being asked "Whyyyyy?" if she refuses.

And if she does accept, what a treat! Usually these fellows smell like they've been living out of the car and haven't bathed in days, which probably isn't too far off from the truth. So there you are, in your nice costume, being moistly squished by a fanboy who's living out his dreams of canoodling with Ulala by applying equal parts guilt and pity.

I'm lucky, in a way. One flash of the ring on my left hand, and the fanboys usually back off. One persistent fellow at Otakon asked me if I'd hug his friend, and I sweetly said no, I was married, and then he had to get into why that was a problem. It's a problem because I don't want to hug you, fucker, and I'm trying to be nice about it.

The fanboys reached epic proportions at Otakon 2004. There were fanboys waiting outside video rooms and at the bottom of escalators. It's become a "thing" to do at cons, which excuses nothing. Ohayocon 2005 put the kibosh on panhandling for hugs, bless their hearts, which means I'm not the only one with this rant. However, even Ohayocon was not immune to the smell, and jaina, fadingembers, and I had to leave the Deviant Anime hangout session on Saturday night because the body odor was so overpowering.

So, here it is, fanboys. You've got every right to go to a con. You have no right to ask for a hug. You might improve your chances of getting hug without begging if you bathe and work on not looking so pathetic. The "sad slob" act only works well for small cute creatures like kittens and puppies. It does not work for you. The people who are indeed hugging you are either overwhelmingly touchy-feely or are too nice for their own good. Get over it, get over yourselves, and get a life.

Comments

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Jim's suggested "fashion police - warning" stickers - just slap them on as you go past....

[arafel.livejournal.com]

Honestly, a "biohazard" sticker would be more appropriate.

...Now, there's a thought.

[ladyofthesea.livejournal.com]

*applauds* Well said. I haven't been to a con since Katsucon 2001, so I haven't been approached by the above-mentioned sad, pathetic fanboys. It'd be fun if a guy tried to ask me for a hug when Pas was around, cause he'd probably hit him with a baseball bat. Stupid fanboys, go away- no one cares about you.

[ikaruszino.livejournal.com]

nevermind that I uh.. never have a baseball bat on me when it counts. I'd probably hug the guy, seeing as how most likely, me being the big italian I am, will smell worse than him, and it might make him realize the error of his ways.

SCORE ONE FOR THE BIG GUY ;)

[arafel.livejournal.com]

LOL. Beat them at their own game, huh?

[tiggymalvern.livejournal.com]

Not something I came across at all at Sakura-Con last year. I wonder if the organisers had banned something I didn't even know about, or if west coast fanboys just aren't so desperate! And, of course, Yaoi-con's very safe from the fanboys :-)

[arafel.livejournal.com]

*snicker* Not too many boys at Yaoi-con? Or not too many boys interested in hugging girls? :D

[tiggymalvern.livejournal.com]

Not too high a percentage of guys at all. And, yeah, some of 'em were gay!

[pantswarrior]

I didn't have that problem much at Otakon 04... but then, I was crossdressing the entire time, at some points including facial hair. I think the majority of the times I got asked for hugs, it was by fangirls when I was dressed as Tsuzuki, because... well, Tsuzuki has fangirls and he's a huggy sort of character (which meant I obliged ;)).

[arafel.livejournal.com]

The crossplay might have had something to do with it - I personally was solicited largely when I was wearing the Seung Mina outfit. My ranting concerns more the general sense of "dude, if you took a bath and cleaned yourself up, perhaps you wouldn't have to wear a sign h0ring yourself out for hugs."

[notowned.livejournal.com]

So are these guys just trying to get a girlfriend, trying to get their jollies, or do they actually think they are hugging the character you're dressed as? It sounds like an extremely unedifying spectacle, whichever way you look at it. Reason #1023 why I will *not* ever be going to an anime convention.

[arafel.livejournal.com]

I really don't know what their deal is. As I said in the rant, anime crowds do tend to be very friendly, and these people want to capitalize off of it to get hugs from people who otherwise wouldn't look twice at them. It was a promising sign that Ohayocon 2005 put a stop to it, so perhaps you'd be safe at a con after all. Or, you could go to Yaoi-con with Tiggy. :D

[wpl510.livejournal.com]

...Are you serious? They just walk up and expect hugs? I never imagined that sort of thing would be randomly accepted anywhere, but I understand Tasers are coming down in price... a few loud shrieks of agony should serve as an example to keep the rest away.

[arafel.livejournal.com]

Some of them just stand around with their "Hug me" sign. Some of them approach you. I do like the Taser idea. :D

[wpl510.livejournal.com]

Even better- the new models they sell the police can take out your victim from 20 feet away, so you don't even need to get close to them!

[arafel.livejournal.com]

*grins* I have a similar photo from Otakon 2002 extolling the virtues of soap.

[grandlarseny.livejournal.com]

I was thinking I'd carry around my own sign for all those "Hugs For Pocky" posters. Something along the lines of "Castration for Harrassment". ::grin::

[arafel.livejournal.com]

*grins* How about "Kick in the Nuts for Hug?"

[caoin.livejournal.com]

Ugh. Forced intimacy...how gross.

[arafel.livejournal.com]

Especially squishy forced intimacy. >_

[little-licks.livejournal.com]

Just showed this to Valerie, who totally commiserates. She's been on the con scene for years, as well, and has had her share of tragic fanboy experiences.

[arafel.livejournal.com]

*snickers* She should come and share them with me next Anime Night.

[fantazyjinx.livejournal.com]

otakon 2004 was REALLY bad with the fanboys! I was doing shiva from ff X and some of them went WAYYY out of line and like tried to "pose me" with their guy pals -_- aahahah NO.
I can see where you're comin from! Good thing you've got that ring:)

[arafel.livejournal.com]

I knooooooooooow! It was like an infestation at Ota2004! Yuck!

fadingembers has a big cubic zirconia she wears to cons. She calls it "fanboy repellent." Just a thought. :D

(is there a pic of you as Shiva anywhere? I heart cosplay.)

[fantazyjinx.livejournal.com]

yepp yepp! Rings=most excellent!
http://www.fansview.com/2004/nekocon/1105c0143.jpg
That was me in 40 degree weather at nekocon in chesapeake va. I had the blue paint but it was SUCH A PAIN i left it off. And my top was kinda falling down cause i got glomped like crazy with the cameras and didn't have time to fix it

[jaina.livejournal.com]

You know, I never noticed just how bad it was until you commented on it last year at Otakon. And then I couldn't STOP noticing because they were EVERYWHERE. Now, I am a huggy person, but I don't like hugging tons of random people. It's sad that some people seem to need to, but their sadness is not my problem and you stated why perfectly.

[arafel.livejournal.com]

It's not even just the needing hugs, it's the knowing you can pressure some people into them because you're in a situation where you can put that pressure on them and still be socially acceptable. I.e., we're all at a con la la la and hugging and glomping are part of cons so why don't you hug and glomp ME? It really is irritating.

[jaina.livejournal.com]

I hate that kind of pressure. There's a similar situation here on our campus--the big fundraising event of the year is Dance Marathon, and there's a major undertone of "If you don't like DM, you hate the chiiiildren!" No, bitches, we're just sick of hearing about it, so STFU.