Hungry!

Jan. 4th, 2014 10:19 pm
moonwise: (Default)

Biscuit: NO FOOD IN THE BOWL

NO FOOD IN THE BOWL

STOP BEING DRUNK AND WATCHING FOOTBALL

PUT FOOD IN THE BOWL

Ninja cat

Dec. 14th, 2013 01:02 pm
moonwise: (amalthea)

Biscuit loves to hide under the Christmas tree. This provides her endless entertainment.

Biscuit: Foot ninja!

Me: Stop it.

Biscuit: Foot ninja!

Me: STOP it.

Biscuit: Foot ninja!

Me: STOP IT.

Biscuit: Foot ninja!

Me: STOP IT, you wretched beast!

Biscuit: I love Christmas.

Bad cat

Nov. 8th, 2013 03:10 pm
moonwise: (:<)
Yesterday morning, my husband gave me a treat. A visitor from Oregon had brought a box of chocolates to his workplace as a gift, and he brought one home for me to try. I was going to eat it before I left, but then JP had an accident that required a full clothing change, and I left it out on the counter.

When I came home yesterday afternoon, I thought perhaps I'd have the treat, since I didn't get to eat it in the morning. When I looked around for it, I found a wrapper, but nothing else. Annoyed, I turned to my husband.

"Did you eat the treat you left me?" I asked, nettled.

He gave me a cross look. "No, I didn't eat it, why would you think that I did?"

I showed him the empty wrapper.

There was only one other option as to who could have eaten my treat, because it wasn't JP...

BISCUIT.

That rotten bratty stinkerpants cat ate my white-chocolate pumpkin spice treat, and then apparently she threw up somewhere in the house after eating it. She is definitely in time out, and I may have to take this out of her allowance.
moonwise: (amalthea)

Biscuit: Meow.

Meow.

Meeeeooooowwww.

*pats my arm*

Mrrroooooowwww.

Me: What do you want, kitty?

JP: Food!

Biscuit: At least one of you morons understands.

moonwise: (life with biscuit)

Biscuit says, "You can feed me now, or you can feed me later. I get to pick how much later."

moonwise: (:<)
(It is nighttime. Everyone is settling in to sleep.)

Biscuit: *walks all over my face*

Me: What is it this time?

Biscuit: Where are the plants?

Me: Oh god.

Biscuit: The plants are gone. Where are the plants?

Me: I took them outside, you little pest.

Biscuit: Fix the plants. Where are the plants?

Me: *tries to hide*

Biscuit: Want plants. Bring the plants back. Fix it please.

Me: Do you want to go in the basement?

Biscuit: Plants.
moonwise: (life with biscuit)
(Scene: 7 AM, Saturday morning. Husband, myself, and JP are all sound asleep.)

Biscuit: *POUNCE*

Me: *startles awake*

Biscuit: Flying kickapow!

Me: Stupid cat. *gets out of bed and goes through the OPEN bathroom door to run the water in the sink for Biscuit*

Biscuit: *ignores water, darts through the door to chew on the spider plant instead*

Me: ...Why did you need to wake me up to open a door that was already open?

Biscuit: It's 7 AM. I think you should be up.

Me: FML.
moonwise: (life with biscuit)
Something large and buzzy was bonking around my bedroom while Biscuit begged for drinkies from the faucet. I caught it in a tissue and showed it to Biscuit.

Me: *shows Biscuit the stink bug* If you weren't a useless cat, you would have caught this bug.

Biscuit: *purrs*

Cat

Jan. 28th, 2012 05:44 pm
moonwise: (life with biscuit)
Dear Biscuit:

You do not get to sit on my mousepad in doorstop position and then act all pissed off when I use the mouse. You knew what you were getting into. Brat.

Love,

me
moonwise: (life with biscuit)
Biscuit had to go to the vet yesterday for an annual checkup and a distemper booster shot. While we were there, the vet admired her stripes (which he probably does for every cat). We've always said that she is a brown/black tabby with bleach spots, because she has slightly lighter tabby patches throughout her coat - as if someone had spattered her with a weak solution of bleach. The vet said that the lighter patches mean that she is actually a calico.

You learn something new every day!

And, because Biscuit is way more popular than I am, here is a picture of her in her Trucker Pose.

Mouse

Nov. 5th, 2011 10:00 pm
moonwise: (life with biscuit)
Biscuit caught a mouse tonight.



ETA: Now that she has laid claim to my mouse, she is biting me every time I try to use it.
moonwise: (:<)
Sometimes, I'll wake up at night and hear JP making sad, soft little sighs in his sleep. Then I check the monitor and find out that it's not him making noise, it's Biscuit snoring.

Like right now. She's over on our bed snoozing. Awwwwwww.

Go Biscuit!

Jul. 4th, 2011 09:04 pm
moonwise: (amalthea)

Biscuit, the Most Fierce of all Kitties, just chased a deer out of our yard. She is the best.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

Hiding!

Jun. 2nd, 2011 09:30 am
moonwise: (kittyluv)
There's a mysterious lump on my bed.



WHATEVER COULD IT BE?

Click to find out! )
moonwise: (life with biscuit)
If I've told my husband once, I've told him a hundred times: stop feeding Biscuit crystal meth. There's no other explanation for her behavior. She's been tear-assing around the house like she has a rocket tied to her tail for at least an hour now.
moonwise: (:3)
Biscuit: Want to go outside.

Outside.

Outside right now.

Please let me outside.

*paws on back door*

Outside outside outside.

Outsiiiiiide.

Didn't you hear me?

OUTSIDE.

OUTSIDE OUTSIDE OUTSIDE OUTSIDE OUTSIDE OUTSIDE.

Me: Fine.

*harnesses Biscuit and puts her out in the garden*

Biscuit: OHSHIT SCHOOL BUS GARBAGE TRUCK LAWN MOWER WANT TO GO INSIIIIIIIIIIDE

Me: *lets cat back in*

Biscuit: Outside.
moonwise: (life with biscuit)
And now, starring in her VERY FIRST internet video, here's Biscuit! She just loves cucumbers.

moonwise: (life with biscuit)
I don't know what crawled up Biscuit's butt today, but she's been off the wall. She's been doing the Kitty Dance, where she arches her back, puts back her ears, stiffens the base of her tail, and bounces into the room on four paws or two. She wanted to play so badly that she whined at me for several minutes, and then she attacked my leg.

Maybe it's because she didn't get to go outside today because of the rain. We put her out on her leash (yes, we leash the cat; we live on a busy corner) when we're out in the garden, and she just loooooves to watch the birdies.

Weird cat

Apr. 29th, 2010 12:09 pm
moonwise: (happy kitty)
Last night, I made a salad for dinner, with red lettuce, peppers and cucumbers. I also pan-fried a little chicken to put on top. There were a few stray morsels of cooked chicken remaining, so I offered one to Biscuit. The chicken was not marinated or seasoned besides a little salt.

Biscuit: *sniffs*

Me: Look, kitty! Chicken!

Biscuit: I don't want this.

Me: What is wrong with you? Cats love chicken!

Biscuit: *does the fastidious paw-shake of disgust* Yuck. What I'd really like is some of that cucumber you're peeling.

Me: You are the strangest cat I've ever had. Most cats can't wait to have a nice piece of chicken or steak. You want peppers and cucumbers and string beans. *offers Biscuit a thin strip of skinless peeled cuke*

Biscuit: *CHOMP* *SNARF* I'm a vegetarian cat.

Poor kitty

Jan. 15th, 2010 10:01 am
moonwise: (:<)
Every night, Biscuit wakes me up because she wants a snack. (She usually has food in her bowl, but she is too dumb to check her bowl out first.) Usually, after having her snack, she comes back to bed and snoozes with us until the alarm goes off. Sometimes, she doesn't want to go back to sleep - she wants to play with us. Many times when she's pesty at night, I'll find a toy on the bed the next morning that she's brought upstairs to keep herself entertained. Unfortunately, keeping herself entertained means keeping us up at an inappropriate hour, so we don't encourage her to play at 3 AM even though she is cute as buttons.

One of Biscuit's favorite toys is a kitty fishing pole with a feather on the end. We had played chase last night, and then husband hung the pole up where she couldn't get it. (Or so we thought.) I had gone back to bed after a snack run when I heard "BONK, BA-BONK, WHACK, BONK BONK BONK" coming up the stairs. Biscuit had managed to pull her toy off the wall and was bringing it upstairs to us so we could play chase some more.

It broke my heart into pieces to bring the fishing pole back downstairs and hang it up where Biscuit really couldn't reach it, and then shut the kitty door so that she had to stay in the basement (once she gets going, she won't settle down again.) We can't let her think that we're going to play with her at night, or we'll never get any sleep. But wow if it isn't hard to say no!

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